mindfulness Archives | Dr. Les Kertay

I can barely contain my tears today. Is this the genuine heart of sadness? I wrote that, and much of what follows, this morning in an email to a friend of nearly 50 years. Now I write it for you. All of you. Everyone. Even, maybe especially, those of you with whom I disagree about things that matter When I woke Monday to the news from Las Vegas, I remember feeling first the suffering of all those people injured.…

How to live a happier life

Les Kertay

Showing Up

You can decide that you will live a happier life, starting right now. I think I can tell you how to live a happier life, unfailingly, in less than 900 words. I also believe that you can take this transformative step without medication, psychotherapy, coaching, or anything other than a decision. What’s not to like? There is a continuous cycle between our mindset (our expectations of the world), our behavior (how we act based on our mindset), our experience (how our…

On being Mindful of the Marvelous Webs We Weave

Les Kertay

Showing Up

Unlike the spider, we are both blessed and cursed with a choice about the meaning we make of our life. We – you, I – have a choice, today, right now. We can lament our lot in life, or we can take it for granted. We can lord our bounty over others, or we can share it, recognizing that our riches are just as fleeting as the spider’s web.

How people change [/psychAMA]

Les Kertay

/psychAMA, Radical Civility

If you want to know how people change, read this post. Change your mind, change your mood, change your life. What follows combines two of my favorite subjects: the psychology of belief and the need for radical civility in political discourse. Doesn’t sound all that sexy, I admit. But understanding why we hate ambiguity is the key to understanding how people change – or don’t. It’s also key to how we got where we are in the state of political discourse.…

What I learned from the Perseid meteor shower

Les Kertay

Showing Up

It’s no surprise that heading out to watch the Perseid meteor shower on the night of its 2016 peak gave me a lesson in showing up. After all, for me life is always about showing up. I even named this year “the year of living present” (see this post for more on naming years). Everything, it seems, conspires to invite me, cajole me, prod me, and drag me kicking and screaming into being present. This: looking at the night sky in a really…

Showing up: my peculiar brain

Les Kertay

Showing Up

One of the great things about being the owner of my particular – and peculiar – brain is that I often don’t remember what I’ve read, or the movies I’ve watched, or apparently what I’ve written. It’s actually quite delightful, because showing up to watch the same movie multiple times I can have just as much fun as the first time. I even get surprised, though admittedly recognition memory does kick in now and then. The downside, alas, is that…

12 Steps to Radical Civility

Les Kertay

Don't Be a Dick, Radical Civility

It’s time to reintroduce this term: radical civility. By all things holy and otherwise, we need it. Desperately. Immediately. Please. I can’t read one more days’ worth of social media frothing full of half-truths, mostly lies, and the simple unwillingness to listen to one another, lest I go looking for the nearest bridge from which to leap. Not one more day of posting drivel that passes for well-researched argument, for repeating the deluge of argument from the internet without bothering…

Mental health month happens in May

Les Kertay

/psychAMA, Showing Up

Did you miss mental health month? It’s not too late. Ever. Mental health is about being who, what, when, and where you are. “Why” doesn’t really have much to do with it. I learned, when hit by loss, to ask the right question: ‘What next?’ instead of “Why me?’ – Julia Cameron What say you? Dr Les Kertay

Live long and happy, and think about death

Les Kertay

/psychAMA, Showing Up

Yesterday I published About Aging Gracefully. That same morning two things showed up on my social media timeline that together said, “Maybe bullshit was too strong a word.” That said, “You want to know how to age gracefully? Here you go.” First up was a November 2015 TED talk that showed up on a friend’s timeline. In it, Robert Waldinger, the fourth and current director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, reminded me – yes, again – that only one thing determined above all else whether…

Sometimes Things Just Don’t Work

Les Kertay

Showing Up

I started to write a blog post tonight, as part of the 31dayblogchallenge. About how being happy isn’t always what’s it’s cracked up to be. About how forcing happiness is a sure fire way to be miserable. It’s the dark side of being happy. The idea was a good one, I think. But when I finished writing it, I hated it. The lesson for today is: forcing the thing that makes you happy is a sure fire way to be…