Every year I tell myself I’m going to write a new post about losing a child. I never do. A couple of years ago, I realized that in this post, I left it all on the table. I republished it with a few minor changes, and today I’m doing it again. Because whether or not it needs saying, I want to say happy birthday to our angel and 5th of our 6 children, Gabriel. What follows is desperately sad, but…
Geckos. Next time let’s raise geckos. We don’t mean it, but sometimes we think it. Every parent thinks it. Well, probably not exactly that, because that whole “let’s raise geckos instead” thing is a pretty strange way to say it. But some version of it. Every parent thinks some version of it. Because, parenting. Because parenting is not for wimps. Like most parents, I have experienced joy and triumph and satisfaction beyond anything that I ever thought I could possibly…
My eyes open. My first thought is, Maddie and Flaun will be worried, I’ve been gone so long. Then the thought, How could I possibly know it’s been a long time? I have no idea what time it is. I look up and see a nurse. He is typing fast and diligently looking at a computer. His eyes are locked on the screen. Please see me, I think, for I have not yet found words. I’m here. I’m alive. Can…
