31dayblogchallenge Archives

Yesterday I published About Aging Gracefully. That same morning two things showed up on my social media timeline that together said, “Maybe bullshit was too strong a word.” That said, “You want to know how to age gracefully? Here you go.” First up was a November 2015 TED talk that showed up on a friend’s timeline. In it, Robert Waldinger, the fourth and current director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, reminded me – yes, again – that only one thing determined above all else whether…

About Aging Gracefully

Les Kertay

Showing Up

I have this to say about aging gracefully: Bullshit. People have been telling me for years that “old” is a state of mind. The implication being that if you don’t think old, then somehow, you won’t be old. That too is Bullshit. There is a hidden admonishment in this magical thinking, that if you do feel old, you must be doing it wrong. I notice that only people much younger than me ever talk like that. Today, I realize that…

The Courage to Voice Truth

Les Kertay

Showing Up

Hero, courage, service. Those words get tossed around a lot these days. Sometimes I think I’ve gone numb to them. Sometimes I think they are used cynically. Other times I think we confuse courage with bravado, or braggadocio. Too often, they are tied only to war and risking the ultimate sacrifice. Most times I think we’ve forgotten altogether what they mean. I should say, most times I forget what they mean. Especially when I am afraid. These days, I confess,…

Sometimes Things Just Don’t Work

Les Kertay

Showing Up

I started to write a blog post tonight, as part of the 31dayblogchallenge. About how being happy isn’t always what’s it’s cracked up to be. About how forcing happiness is a sure fire way to be miserable. It’s the dark side of being happy. The idea was a good one, I think. But when I finished writing it, I hated it. The lesson for today is: forcing the thing that makes you happy is a sure fire way to be…

E Pluribus Unum

Les Kertay

Don't Be a Dick, Radical Civility

E Pluribus Unum. Out of many, one. Our country’s motto. On our currency. Part of the Great Seal of the United States. I think maybe we’ve forgotten what the hell it means. I am in Washington, DC, a city with which I have a love-hate relationship. I love the rich history, the memories of coming here on one of our early Kertay Guy Trips, the pomp and circumstance. There is something deeply satisfying about seeing the original constitution in the…

Do You Want to be Happy?

Les Kertay

Showing Up

Here’s an easy question, a universal question: Would you like to be happy? Well, duh. Try an experiment with me. Really. Like most things in life, this will be more useful if you actually do it as opposed to just thinking about it. Take a piece of paper, turn it sideways, and make three columns. I’ll wait while you go get the necessary supplies. First, in the left most column of your paper, write down the first three things that come…

Because Parenting Is Not for Wimps

Les Kertay

/psychAMA, A Man's Perspective

Geckos. Next time let’s raise geckos. We don’t mean it, but sometimes we think it. Every parent thinks it. Well, probably not exactly that, because that whole “let’s raise geckos instead” thing is a pretty strange way to say it. But some version of it. Every parent thinks some version of it. Because, parenting. Because parenting is not for wimps. Like most parents, I have experienced joy and triumph and satisfaction beyond anything that I ever thought I could possibly…

The 31 days of December – Blog Challenge Time

Les Kertay

Showing Up, Writing & stories & stuff

A 31-day blog challenge? Now? As busy as you are, as much as you’re traveling, with all that’s going on? All good questions, along with the appended good, if rhetorical, one: Are you nuts? A friend once said, in response to me asking this question at an earlier time in my life: “Well, yes, you are kinda nuts. But I don’t see any reason to be judgmental about it.” Apt, I thought then, and still. So here’s the story: About…