men

Don’t Be That Guy

Don’t waste your life – so said this article in The Good Men Project that floated across my Facebook feed this morning. The article is mostly a reposting of a letter that was apparently first seen on Reddit, written by a man of 46 who lamented the guy he’d become – working all the time, with a son who barely speaks to him and a wife he’d just found had been cheating on him for 10 years. The article is meant…

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Empowered Sexuality: For Men, Too?

Empowered sexuality in women I saw the video below for the first time, posted to Facebook by one of my loves. It’s about empowered sexuality in women, not men. Bear with me, I’ll get to the part about men. “Astonishingly beautiful.” That was my first thought. And then the second thought: “Why should it be astonishing to see women expressing themselves, sharing themselves freely?” No reason other than that it’s still something we have to fight for. So no, not…

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Aging, Men, and Why I Write About Them

The older I get, the more medicines I am prescribed. These are mine. They make me feel old. Well, not just them. Them and a heart that seems determined sometimes to beat to its own drummer. Them and a left knee that has decided on my behalf that I should stop running for exercise. Them and a right knee that’s started to get stiff when I get out of bed in the morning. Them and hearing that screens out sounds that I used to hear.…

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Paradox for a Sunday Morning

“I’m not bi, but my wives are.” It’s a joke in our household, but today the joke – alongside an excellent post that Maddie put up on BadAssQuiltersSociety – got me to thinking. Where do I fit in the world of inclusion? I’m not sure it’s a question that I even get to ask, or that will be welcome. Maybe it will be seen as something akin to a rich, white guy asking in the face of an affirmative action…

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Hey you!

Hey you! Yes, you! If you want to live and love and work bold, fulfilled, and BadAss, I’ve been busy building something for people just like you. If you’re stuck being one of the guys and want to be the man you always thought you could, or if you’re someone who loves one of those guys, or if you run a business that you want to take to the next level of awesome, come join us.

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Be Careful What You Ask For

If you ask a man to be more open about what he feels, beware the possibility that you might not like what he has to say. I am posting here about an article that appeared this morning on The Good Men Project titled Sex, Marriage, and the Silent Treatment. Whether you are a man or a woman, I encourage you to read it. I also encourage you to read the comments that follow it, along with the voluminous comments that have…

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Making the World Safer for Women

I am tired of being seen as a threat. Tired of being evaluated by women when they look at me to discern whether I am a potential rapist, abuser, or just an average sexist cad. Tired of seeing mistrust in the eyes of mothers when I smile at a child’s happiness or play peekaboo to calm one who is having a hard time being still on the plane. I’m tired of it, I tell you. Just maybe not for the…

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Aging by the Numbers

I have a theory of development by decades, about how we develop and what we do with our neuroses. But I turn 60 tomorrow, and I don’t know what happens next. I’m pretty sure that at a certain age you’ve earned the right to be as neurotic as you want to be, and no one cares anymore. Personally, I can’t wait. But what about 60?

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