A Man's Perspective Archives

Geckos. Next time let’s raise geckos. We don’t mean it, but sometimes we think it. Every parent thinks it. Well, probably not exactly that, because that whole “let’s raise geckos instead” thing is a pretty strange way to say it. But some version of it. Every parent thinks some version of it. Because, parenting. Because parenting is not for wimps. Like most parents, I have experienced joy and triumph and satisfaction beyond anything that I ever thought I could possibly…

Don’t Be That Guy

Les Kertay

A Man's Perspective, Don't Be a Dick, Showing Up

Don’t waste your life – so said this article in The Good Men Project that floated across my Facebook feed this morning. The article is mostly a reposting of a letter that was apparently first seen on Reddit, written by a man of 46 who lamented the guy he’d become – working all the time, with a son who barely speaks to him and a wife he’d just found had been cheating on him for 10 years. The article is meant…

Empowered Sexuality: For Men, Too?

Les Kertay

A Man's Perspective, Showing Up

Empowered sexuality in women I saw the video below for the first time, posted to Facebook by one of my loves. It’s about empowered sexuality in women, not men. Bear with me, I’ll get to the part about men. “Astonishingly beautiful.” That was my first thought. And then the second thought: “Why should it be astonishing to see women expressing themselves, sharing themselves freely?” No reason other than that it’s still something we have to fight for. So no, not…

Aging, Men, and Why I Write About Them

Les Kertay

A Man's Perspective

The older I get, the more medicines I am prescribed. These are mine. They make me feel old. Well, not just them. Them and a heart that seems determined sometimes to beat to its own drummer. Them and a left knee that has decided on my behalf that I should stop running for exercise. Them and a right knee that’s started to get stiff when I get out of bed in the morning. Them and hearing that screens out sounds that I used to hear.…

Paradox for a Sunday Morning

Les Kertay

A Man's Perspective, Radical Civility, Showing Up

“I’m not bi, but my wives are.” It’s a joke in our household, but today the joke – alongside an excellent post that Maddie put up on BadAssQuiltersSociety – got me to thinking. Where do I fit in the world of inclusion? I’m not sure it’s a question that I even get to ask, or that will be welcome. Maybe it will be seen as something akin to a rich, white guy asking in the face of an affirmative action…

Hey you!

Les Kertay

A Man's Perspective, Showing Up

Hey you! Yes, you! If you want to live and love and work bold, fulfilled, and BadAss, I’ve been busy building something for people just like you. If you’re stuck being one of the guys and want to be the man you always thought you could, or if you’re someone who loves one of those guys, or if you run a business that you want to take to the next level of awesome, come join us.

Sometimes You Have To Do What You Have To Do

Les Kertay

A Man's Perspective, Don't Be a Dick, Showing Up

Every once in a while a moment of raw communication happens in such a way that it becomes clear there is a choice to be made – either we will rise to the occasion and speak the truth of where we stand, even at the risk that it might offend or have unforeseen consequences, or we will miss that moment and live with regret. Last week, teaching my Abnormal Psychology class, I had such a moment. It was a class…

Be Careful What You Ask For

Les Kertay

A Man's Perspective

If you ask a man to be more open about what he feels, beware the possibility that you might not like what he has to say. I am posting here about an article that appeared this morning on The Good Men Project titled Sex, Marriage, and the Silent Treatment. Whether you are a man or a woman, I encourage you to read it. I also encourage you to read the comments that follow it, along with the voluminous comments that have…

Your Parents Thought You Too Were an Ungrateful Little Twerp

Les Kertay

A Man's Perspective, Don't Be a Dick

Like many on this eve of a new year, I am stunned at the frenetic pace of time’s passing, especially as I say goodbye to the year in which I turned 60. Reflecting from this vantage point on the breathtaking changes in the world order, I decided to respond to a question that was posed to me very recently by a reader: “Why do kids these days feel they have such a right of entitlement?” As it turns out I’ve…

Making the World Safer for Women

Les Kertay

A Man's Perspective, Don't Be a Dick

I am tired of being seen as a threat. Tired of being evaluated by women when they look at me to discern whether I am a potential rapist, abuser, or just an average sexist cad. Tired of seeing mistrust in the eyes of mothers when I smile at a child’s happiness or play peekaboo to calm one who is having a hard time being still on the plane. I’m tired of it, I tell you. Just maybe not for the…

A Man’s Perspective

Because Parenting Is Not for Wimps

Don’t Be That Guy

Empowered Sexuality: For Men, Too?

Aging, Men, and Why I Write About Them

Paradox for a Sunday Morning

Hey you!

Sometimes You Have To Do What You Have To Do

Be Careful What You Ask For

Your Parents Thought You Too Were an Ungrateful Little Twerp

Making the World Safer for Women