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On being Mindful of the Marvelous Webs We Weave

Unlike the spider, we are both blessed and cursed with a choice about the meaning we make of our life. We – you, I – have a choice, today, right now. We can lament our lot in life, or we can take it for granted. We can lord our bounty over others, or we can share it, recognizing that our riches are just as fleeting as the spider’s web.

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How people change

How people change [/psychAMA]

If you want to know how people change, read this post. Change your mind, change your mood, change your life. What follows combines two of my favorite subjects: the psychology of belief and the need for radical civility in political discourse. Doesn’t sound all that sexy, I admit. But understanding why we hate ambiguity is the key to understanding how people change – or don’t. It’s also key to how we got where we are in the state of political discourse.…

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The right to disrespect the flag

Jim Wright said it better than I will. He’s a powerful writer, and a credible guy. He is retired military; I’m not. 54,000 people shared his post. And since Jim said it better, I needn’t bother. But I’m going to say it anyway. Colin Kaepernick, the 49ers quarterback who may currently be the most hated man in America, has every right to do what he did, and if you are a true patriot you know that. Colin Kaepernick has the right…

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Left wing bigotry

Here’s what I mostly learned from my post on the EpiPen controversy and what it said about greed in health care: civil discourse is an endangered species, hovering on the edge of extinction. And it’s not just on the right. Left wing bigotry is alive and well. And dangerous. Facts are an endangered species As of last night the Facebook share on the EpiPen post reached over 19.5k people and got 319 reactions, 77 comments with a ton of replies, and 204 shares. Hardly a viral explosion, but bigger…

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Greed, the EpiPen, and what’s killing healthcare

There is something wrong with healthcare in this country. Greed. Greed is what’s killing healthcare. It isn’t President Obama’s fault, and it isn’t the Affordable Care Act. Let’s just get that out of the way so that those of you with no interest in hearing an alternative explanation can stop reading now. Greed is what’s killing healthcare. Everybody says so, in the wake of the story of Heather Bresch, CEO of Mylan NV, and the EpiPen. Ms. Bresch is suffering…

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Finding the right shrink – Part 2

As a psychologist, one of the most common questions I get – right up there with the ever-popular “oh, so are you analyzing me?” – is some version of, “how do I go about finding the right shrink?” In part 1 I wrote about the idea of fit, and the importance of the relationship. The person with whom you choose to work has to match your problem, your expectations, and your needs. S/he also has to have the skill set…

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Finding the right shrink: Part 1

On August 7 I asked, what do you think of shrinks? Totally unscientific, probably the wrong question, and interesting as hell anyway. Unsurprisingly, the answer comes down to, “it depends.” But it raises another, more important question: how do you go about finding the right shrink? The results Most people – 92% – thought they are at least sometimes helpful, and a slim majority thought they are usually helpful or downright miracle workers. On the other end of the scale,…

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Comfort stunts your growth

Yesterday I found this title in my email, and I couldn’t resist: You’ll comment on this story. But you probably won’t read it. If you regularly read what I write, I bet you won’t be able to resist it either. There’s comfort in it. The thing is, comfort is stunting your growth. And maybe that’s not the worst of it. We live in an echo chamber The premise of Shelly Palmer’s article is that we live increasingly in a world…

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What I learned from the Perseid meteor shower

It’s no surprise that heading out to watch the Perseid meteor shower on the night of its 2016 peak gave me a lesson in showing up. After all, for me life is always about showing up. I even named this year “the year of living present” (see this post for more on naming years). Everything, it seems, conspires to invite me, cajole me, prod me, and drag me kicking and screaming into being present. This: looking at the night sky in a really…

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Showing up: my peculiar brain

One of the great things about being the owner of my particular – and peculiar – brain is that I often don’t remember what I’ve read, or the movies I’ve watched, or apparently what I’ve written. It’s actually quite delightful, because showing up to watch the same movie multiple times I can have just as much fun as the first time. I even get surprised, though admittedly recognition memory does kick in now and then. The downside, alas, is that…

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